in between two worlds

Monday, June 29, 2009

Church Activities

We used to make up bad words - words that would hurt the target and satisfy the shooter. Being in a church setting, we had to keep it PG not because we had a choice, but because that was all our elementary minds knew. We bullied 4th graders because we were 5th graders. We bullied 8th graders because two 5th graders made one 10th grader. Our created words were the funniest things to us, and we would ping pong back and forth to see who got the smash hit that would irresistibly cause the ball to, well, have a ball and laugh to tears with us.

"You have a wrinkle-butt!"


"Your face is a butt-crunch!"

Any time the word 'butt' came up, it was automatically too funny to be an insult. But words were only the beginning. We would run around the church and start wars, using old dolls, stuffed animals, and children's books as weapons and chairs and tables as forts. All this would be happening while the adults were eating lunch in the kitchen.

"Yah! needul bahp muguh!" (Hey! You guys food eat!)

We would eat as quickly as possible and then take a box of matches up the hills into the back lot where we would light any animate object (usually insects) on fire. We used to stomp on bees and see their guts spill out (which was usually white and not yellow like honey) and explore the tropical deserts as we endured the pines that pierced through our socks. Then it was time for fireworks. I would buy these tiny tnt looking firecrackers, which were probably illegal, from the Mexican ice cream truck, place it on the playground swings and then light them on fire. "Just like looney tunes!" One time we lit one string and ran to a safe distance, but when the cracker didn't go off for awhile I boldly but cautiously crept up to check ifBOOOM! ... and my face blew up. or at least I thought so because it stung like a bumble bee, or a hornet.

Speaking of Hornets, we used to play basketball on top of the parking lot hill that doubled as a full court with only one basket. Playing ball was tricky because there was a steep 47 degree hill right behind the hoop, as in the pole was cemented into the very edge of the cliff. This made airballs deathballs. If you made an airball then you would have to climb all the way down the weed infested hill (which was waist high) to retrieve the ball as everyone stared you down and let you know how bad you are. That's why I never make airballs now. Three words. Magic Mountain baby.

After all that we, or now I, would get into fights and throw handfuls of rocks high in the air, first as a scare tactic, and then... never again after one of my bullets decided to hit the pastor's son square on his head - instant fruit punch fountain from the think tank. Ohhhh yeaaahh noooo! I got yelled at and then ran out to play again like nothing happened. I did feel bad though. Like bada~~!

But running and playing wasn't all fun and games. We were avid readers as well. There was one Sunday in particular when my friend brought to church Dragonball Volume 42, the last and final and most epic and gg pwnage and long-awaited manga in the history of saiyankind. We hid in the backseat of a car and read through as much as we could before the evil androids caught us saving the world one panel at a time.

When church was over we would walk to each others' houses and play N64 all day long and then watch a video. Sadly, I was rarely allowed to sleep over friends' places (but allowed to have friends sleep over my place. weird. my parents love me.) so the 4 or 5 times that I did, I. was. so. excited! while everyone else was thinking 'eh another sleepover.'

Then I would count down to next Sunday.

Oh and of course I remember the people too, especially the ones we were a nuisance to. I remember Mimi and Gina teacher in particular, the twins who did body worship and bible studies and everything in between. I thought that was how all churches did it - hire twins as ushers, or body worshipers, or offering basketers, or anything that's good in pairs. I heard that back in the days before the internet was in the average household, the twins would listen to Christian radio stations and whenever they heard a new song they would write down the lyrics, learn the piano part, create the body worship, make the transparency for the overhead, and introduce the final product to us on Sunday mornings. Now that I think about the dedication and effort they put into teaching us God's Word I can't help but thank God because I still remember not specific words they said (except 'Oh my peanut!' sorry another story), but their love in their actions and their sacrifice.

When all the "church activities" are done and all the discussions settle down the only thing that's left is His perfect LOVE for me in His Action and His Sacrifice. So take heart my heart. Dedicate once again and even more so to making disciples of all nations. Laugh, but this time give Words of Life. Make war, but this time in the spiritual battlefield. Set a fire, but this time fire up a passion for Jesus name. Read, but this time read and meditate on God's Word. Fight and throw rocks! No, don't fight, pursue after peace. Play, but this time spell check and pray. Visit, but this time go over to each others' spiritual houses. Count down, but this time wait for the Lord and take heart.

Begin to ACT in Love.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Footprints in the Sand

The walk of a snail. But slow and steady wins the race. Here's a little update for the uptake. I am under heavy pressure right now. But pressure is diamond. bling*

College you've been good to me. They say it's real life from here on out. I say omg. But friends and fan-mily, I do not worry. My mind is clear as if I've poured out my thoughts into a Pensieve. I look back and memories are distant, but Love is nearer than ever.

I had a dream the other day. I was in a room with fellow students and I felt this uncomfortable sense of urgency - as if I had procrastinated for a lab report that was due in one hour, which I had not started. Unfortunately, that was the exact scenario of my dream. This felt so real and I remember thinking that I was going to die and never graduate, and in my state of panic I shoved my lab partners out of their seats so I could finish everything on my own. "Get outta here!"

When I woke up and realized I was at home on my bed I couldn't help but smile real big and stupid-like. "It's over!" That's when it hit me big time - I am done with college! 17 grace-saturated years in the making (including kindergarten my favorite) and it's finally over. WIN!



Just like Fisher's smile at 0:43. It's the smile of knowing that victory is here. You know the outcome before the income. You see the finish line and it's the final stretch. No more pacing. No more tracing the dotted line. No more trailing behind. No more sulking about past faults and mistakes. You just smile because of Jesus and only look to finishing the race. this. is. CAKETOWN!

.

so.

now what?

Now I look back into the Pensieve because I accidentally poured out all my thoughts and I can't remember a single thing... ah, there we go.

For the time being this boy is headed to seminary. Lord willing, I'm aiming for Talbot. I dread the application process because I've dreaded every application process before it. My life is laid bare before the admissions office and scrutinized based on my past achievements and my merit. "Wait, but I heard... everyone gets into seminary." uh, whatever. I pray this will go smoothly and quickly.

Let's see here what else do I remember. Yes. I now have an ice cream. She is pretty cool, but not as cool as luigi.

ew don't touch me.

This will be one grand adventure. I see two sets of footprints in the sand, but our desire is we'll only see One as He carries us through and through. Rules and regulations out of love and honor because Love came down and rescued me.

Here's another memory that's fresh in my mind that I hope can encourage. After a fun filled day at magic mountain with a few of my friends I came home and slept around 2 am. Before going to sleep I prayed, "God, I'm super tired, but remember how I said I wanted to go to morning prayer everyday from now on? Well, I give up because you know how bad I am at waking up. So I give it up to You! Thank You." So I set my alarm to 5 am since mp is at 5:30. That night I had a dream and during the dream I woke up naturally, which is very rare considering I slept so late after a long day. And I said, "If the alarm goes off right now, then I'm going no matter what. If not, then good night world." And the very next second - BEEEEEEEEEEEP~!

OH MY....... LORD I WILL GO! SEND ME! HERE I AM!

So God led me to a blessed time at morning prayer! Praise the Lord!

Let's keep the summer cool for Jesus~ <3>

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Flash

I shudder at the shutter speed
The Infinite upon finite being
Is more than enough to capture
The heart of humanity

Zoom in for vanity
Zoom out to take the tree
Man takes the first shot
But with no flash photography

Then skins flash and eyes discover
Pure brokenness in the lens cover
Reflecting the self
And forgetting the True Lover

Disobedience is auto
One man falls and all follow
But obedience is manual
Through One Immanuel

And the rising of the Son
Is as faithful as the sun breaks dawn
Because sovereignty means
The timer is on

In a time of testing
Red letters in a hidden message
Were taken up and poured out
To reveal a perfect image

So I develop my burdens
In a darkroom behind split curtains
Red lights manifest the water of Life
And now I'm certain

He took on the Darkness
And exposed His Goodness
That I may receive what I confess
Picture perfect Jesus

focus...

click* flash*
Righteousness



I have so much to do that I spend several hours in prayer before I am able to do it.
- John Wesley
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