Going

I'm living life in transit, a sojourner with a stake in the ground. Next move is unknown, but the next move must be made somehow. Whether it's go or stay, it's never stay for a long time. Fleeting and temporary. Such is life. That is, life on earth. A good reminder that there is an eternity ahead of us. No, eternity has already begun. It only makes sense to invest in and sow into whatever makes an impact in eternity, the things that last forever.

This year is the year of the octopus. I got my feet stuck in too many things. Naturally, it looks quite ridiculous to serve in more than 3 different ministries plus full time school and TA. Yes, this is boasting in myself, more specifically, boasting in my lack of discernment and self control. They all began with an innocent open door of opportunity, but now I can't even concentrate fully on a single one. Ironically, in my attempt to overcome the fear of being "stuck" and making no true impact in my life, I stuck my feet in too many things and now the impact is too thin, too shallow, and too short to satisfy this hungry soul. Jack of all trades, but master of none. Or so it seems.

At the end of the day, there is only one thing that keeps me going: calling. People can play devil's advocate all they want or perhaps even genuinely doubt the call in my life, but that's like trying to convince me that the sun will not rise in the morning. If this sounds like I'm in denial, you are right, I am. I am in denial of mediocre mentality, lukewarm living, and compromised Christianity. My goal is not to be heard or seen or recognized; rather, my goal is to live. Really live. Truly live. To the full potential of what God has for me. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. I will do anything and everything to find out what this looks like in my life even if it takes a lifetime. I only live because He lives. Though I may lose sight of it at times, His calling - knowing that He wants to use someone as inadequate, incompetent, and undeserving like me - is what always brings me back to cling on to a Life with Purpose.

Simply put, when I look to the cross of Jesus Christ my King, I want to live and die by it, not merely sit and be moved by it.

Folding up my tents and folding up my legs. It's the year of the fish.