in between two worlds

Friday, May 21, 2010

Contemporavant

Contemporary + Relevant = Contemproavant

"brilliant parody"




on a totally related note,

spam + rice + seaweed = spariceweed

or spam musubi (mmm~)

.

sorry mr き, i win. =]

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Cowaballin'

So I was ballin' up some foos at my high school courts recently. Then a couple of guys they were up to................ about my height, maybe a little taller, and they challenged me and jcha to 2 on 2. "Alright. Ya'll look like you missed Valentines... cuz I'mma crush you!" said the inner yeoman. First game: We lost 6 to 11. whatevers. I wasn't even trying, but I admit, I was furiously disappointed that we lost. So we ran it back. Second game: We were up 10 to 6 and I was like"YEEEE game point SUUUCKKAAAAS!!!"

thenwelost.

Assuming that there is not another game right after, usually what happens is the winning team lingers on the court and shoots around like they just claimed mad monopoly territory. It also proves that they still have so much energy left (but really they're barely hanging by a thread called pride). It's the street ball version of dog pee pee. It stinks. The losing team, on the other hand, drags their sorry bottoms to the sidelines to drink from the one pity-bottle that one guy brought for himself, but now has no choice but to share the shame with his fellow non-winners.

All this to say,

I hate losing (basketball games especially) with a passion. It might be because of the traumatic loss in my little league finals in middle school, but that's another story for anever time. The only difference between me and the guy hurling the ball across the court is I'm hurling my heart across my chest - I hold it all inside. I say the guy doing the hulk smash is more honest in a strange, twisted way. Really, I do, but in the end, both end up as sore losers. No one likes to admit it, but the things we get most worked up and passionate about tend to be the things we put most our value and worth into - whether it's a win or lose or neutral. "If I'm good at this, then people will acknowledge me or acknowledge me more."

But there's a golden lining in the clouds because losing (in most cases) leads to a strong desire to win (hopefully, unless you like losing... you lewser). "I hate losing! I'm going to win next time! BERSERKER BARRAGE!*" This is why the word comeback resonates with so many people, nay, everyone because everyone has lost at one point in their lives. Yes, even Chuck. wut.

There is an overall sense of resolve to do something about not losing next time if there even is a next time to pwn those kids on the court, or wherever/whatever you consider your "court" to be. "I'm gonna run more and build up Superman stamina. I'm gonna work out like 300 and then squish them with my evil eye. I'm gonna ownage pwnage fo shonage!" Or for students, "I'm gonna go to every lecture 2 hours early and stay behind 2 hours after! I'm gonna destroy the makers of facebook and tetris friends! I'm gonna make a 9th floor in Geisel library with just my brain p-p-p-p-powerrrr!" Or of course if you were thinking what I was thinking, "I don't want to lose to that temptation again! I'm gonna read my bible 366 times this year! [Insert spiritual discipline here!]" etc.

Looking back at my track record, however, "I'm going to do better" is like saying "I'm going to fly." (Even as I write this, my strong resolve to win next time around is beginning to relax its muscles compared to right after the game when I wanted to run laps on the track). Of course, there is a way to fly but only with HS Airlines. My own efforts at improvement are like splashes in a puddle or a chasing after the wind, while his words alone calm the raging storms into stillness. Transformation happens only when the puddle is totally imbibed by the storm and wholly captivated by the stillness - when my will is surrendered to his will. So I take my loss to the cross because my identity is not found in my loss but in the One who carried the cross.

In short, fiery resolve doesn't have to involve whipping out the claws and ripping off heads. Rather, true resolve flows steadily with the river and carves grand canyons on the way to its destination. Next stop, ocean. Slow and steady does it.

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I like turtles

or tortoises.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Stay Tuned


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I thought I had already been here before, but I couldn't be sure. No, I didn't want to be sure. I only wanted to know if I had moved forward, not in circles.

"Am I there yet?"

Dark gray slabs of concrete made up the walls around me. Dark gray clouds of confusion made up the air above me. The rhythm of my untied shoelaces slowed down to a lull and the ringing in my ear finally seemed to fade away just as gradually as it had come. My deep unsettling frustration was muted by the grinding of my firmly clenched teeth. The endless hall was silent once again. I had arrived at another crossroad.

"left... or right..."

And there I was, contemplating life in a labyrinth. Then I heard a voice erupt from the podium and flood my inner stadium:

"God is invisible so that we would look for him."

Amen, professor. Amen.

Stay tuned. Commercials only last a moment.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Dirty Jazz

I realized why I like jazz.

Ever since I graduated from Super Mario Piano Academy with a double major in Chopsticks and Rugrats, jam sessions with noon have been rare. We had completely mastered that one song everyone knows from birth and suddenly remembers whenever two people get on a piano (just googled it and it's fittingly called "Heart and Soul"). We even created a techno version of that other minor sounding duet song. That's right. Acoustic techno.

I always say, "I taught her well" whenever someone compliments noon, but really, I taught her well... (good thing she doesn't read this blog, I think). One of the minor reasons why I quit piano lessons was because I didn't like the idea of losing to noon at an instrument, so my solution was to be awesome at the guitar. Unfortunately, I lose to myself in that as well. The major reason for quitting? Collecting stars in Super Mario 64 > Collecting star stickers for practicing piano. woo-hoo! I got it!

Then I met jazz. It was love at first sound. More technically, it was the blues (King Jesus is All) and in this context I'm referring more to the improvising aspect of jazz (that'll calm the jazz enthusiasts). When I heard improvisation for the first time, it was just... weird in a good way! I was so drawn to the idea of making music on the fly that I wanted in immediately. Reason? I didn't have to read a single note to play! (duh!) and of course the freedom I would have in that! So I learned the blues scale and forced my way into the circle and began to learn more riffs and styles to expand my limited sound. Though I admit more than half the time, no, 99% of the time, I don't know what the funk I'm playing, but with the scales as the tracks I can keep up with the groove all day. choo choo. Even as I play predetermined chords in a sequence and notes in a scale, there is an infinite possibility of patterns and syncopations. This is what I like to call dirty jazz - unpolished, unlearned, low level, newbie improvisation (but it still sounds kinda cool).

Now fast forward to last Saturday: Noon and I were at tfpc last Saturday helping out with dad's seminar. During lunch time, we sneaked into the main sanctuary to jam on the grand piano. I sat on the right as usual. "Play something." She began playing this brightly syncopated, upbeat counter-melody and added in a catchy, funky 3 note riff on the spot. Then that spark of genius landed on my hands and I was now setting off firecrackin' melodies based on the 3 note riff as noon continued to comp on the lower ends. After a few minutes we had a smooth pattern down. We looked at each other and said, "Record this, now." We both took our phones out to record and ended up recording (maximum recording time on my phone: 1 minute), more than 5 times. What I realized was that every single time we recorded, it was different. Like way different. And it was perfectly fine that it was different.

And that's when I realized - I absolutely love how there is no way of reproducing that same improvised sequence and vibe (and repeating everything perfectly is different from being able to reproduce that exact moment in time, the thoughts and the emotions you have, etc.). Some runs you like. Other ones you don't. Sometimes only a measure of one recording is good or one bad note seems to kill the whole recording. It makes that moment that much more special. It makes it one of those "you had to be there" moments. It makes the world go around.

In short, I like jazz because I'm a slacker who can get away without any practice not because I'm good (seriously), but because I can pretend and make stuff up.

doo doo beep boop boppity doo!

Just wait for the album.

/poorly written SAT essay

Monday, April 5, 2010

Lift Your Name on High

Lord I Lift Your Name on High was the first praise song I ever learned on guitar and piano. I always thought it was such a simple song to play (chords = G, C, D).

This guy takes it to a whole 'nother scale.



Too legit.

The lyrics, all the more:

Lord I lift Your name on high
Lord I love to sing Your praises
I'm so glad You're in my life
I'm so glad You came to save us

You came from heaven to earth, to show the way
From the earth to the cross, my sins to pay
From the cross to the grave, from the grave to the sky
Lord I lift Your name on high

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Life In 3D, pt. 2

"Jesus is risen!"

In my freshman year of college I visited the Rock church in San Diego on Easter. I remember as soon as I got out of the car, a man in a highlighted traffic vest greeted me saying, "Jesus is risen!" He pumped his fists, gave a huge smile, and shook my hand. My response was, "Hi-... He-.... You-... We-... Ame-.........." and unable to find a proper reply in my ESL database, I simply smiled and nodded enthusiastically like a tourist who wanted to desperately prove that he understood. Then he went right back to directing traffic and greeting people in the parking lot. For some reason, that made such a lasting impression on me. He is risen indeed.

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Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.

It begins with the mind. Certainly, we aim for the heart to give birth to godly action which then matures into a God-pleasing life style. If we were to look back to what the early Christians might have had on their minds, perhaps these reminders are not too far from reality:

Live as if Jesus died yesterday. Last year at children's camp, a kid asked, "If Jesus died a long time ago, why do we have to believe in him now?" It's easy to lose the significance of an event that happened 2000 years ago, especially if it is supposed to affect our lives today. When we truly remember that Jesus lived the life we should have lived and died the death we should have died, the godly sorrow will produce a life of repentance. By God's unconditional Love and Grace, the price for our sins has been paid and we have been bought with His blood. We wouldn't think twice about doing something Jesus had to die for. Conviction would be word. He died for you so live for Him.

Live as if Jesus rose again today. Imagine that you were one of the first people to come back from Jesus' empty tomb just this morning. omG. When we realize that Jesus has conquered all our sins, risen above death, and has made us holy and righteous before God, the godly joy will surely lead to a life of thanksgiving and praise. We wouldn't wait a day, a second, to tell the closest person about Jesus coming back to life! The Good News will be so real in our lives that we would share it with everyone we knew. He is risen so be His witness.

Live as if Jesus is coming back tomorrow. Many of us have read and heard about Jesus' return so many times, even encouraging us at times, but again, our lives seem to say, "What are the chances that it's tomorrow, or this year, or maybe even my lifetime?" A friend of mine once told me that the first thing he prays and thinks about when he wakes up is, "If tomorrow was my last day on earth, what would I do differently today?" (similar to my homie Eddie's resolution #7. crazy). Lifestyle. When we live our lives in expectancy for Jesus to return and take us Home, the godly hope will bear a life of perseverance. No amount of suffering will compare to the glory yet to be seen. No matter how tough it gets, no matter how heavy our cross may seem to be, we will be able to follow Him, "forgetting what lies behind and straining toward what lies ahead." He is coming back so press on.

"And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake."

If this sounds impossible, it's because it is - on our own, that is. But praise be to God who has made us alive with Jesus Christ and has given us His Holy Spirit to live out life like it was meant to be lived.

"Check the History book, He's the One to do it.
Lived, died, rose, got the holes to prove it."

And that's Life in 3 days.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Life In 3D, pt. 1

Last night during dinner, dad told me about a sermon he heard recently. I stayed at the table after dinner and 2 whole sets of desserts (first strawberries, then Veggie Straws) because he was so inspired by it that he was pretty much "passionately speaking" (coughpreachingcough) in between mouthfuls - not uncommon at the table. So here is the same inspiration chewed and digested and processed in my system. Hopefully it's not shhhhhhhhheer nonsense:

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There's a difference between words and actions. We might say we believe one thing, but many times our actions reveal true unbelief. The in-yo-face way of putting it is, "inaction is unbelief." The kumbaya way of saying it is "It's a process so chin up and keep trying. It takes time to believe." Pick your weapon(s). I'm the last person to talk about a Christian's tendency to become complacent and comfortable especially in a Goldilocks environment that is just right - one foot in the Word and the other in the world. It has been hammered out by fiery men like John Piper, and Christians have all at one point been called out to "pick up the cross and follow." Unfortunately, the chasm between words (where I should be) and actions (where I am), or "sanctification gap" as some in academia call it, is embedded into the psyche of all who desire to obey, but find themselves pulling out the same list of resolutions at the end of the year, or worse, find themselves with new lists, ambitions, and priorities that fit their lifestyles perfectly, or rather, too conveniently.

What will it take for Christians in the 21st century to fully and radically (compared to their peers) live for God alone just as the followers of Jesus Christ did spreading the Gospel like wildfire in the 1st century? Ultimately, the Holy Spirit must stir, shape, and send the living sacrifices set apart for Him to submit to God's plan and purpose in this life and in all of creation. It will take many biblical truths, much obedience in them, and complete reliance on the HS to break, soften, and mold the calloused hearts of the "disciples" in a generation that has 21 more things that try to steal the heart away. It will take more than mere words, aspirations, or inspirations. It will take life in its entirety.

To be continued...
. .